Beating the "back to school" blues

It's the moment of truth. After enjoying an activity packed 7 week summer holiday with my little one I am back in the city. Saying goodbye to the sun, fun and freedom of summer is difficult.

We've all been there, getting off the plane from an amazing week or two away in an exotic destination to cold, rainy England and the prospect of work the next morning causing upset.

However, for me this time was that bit more daunting as not only was I going back to work but I was also starting a new job. There's nothing like a dose of post holiday blues that make you wish you'd chucked it all in and opened a donkey sanctuary in Cyprus. Here are some top tips to banish those blues.

1. Enjoy the memories 

You might expect that pondering over all those sun kissed moments will make you deflated but it's quite the opposite. Print out some of those holiday photos and put them around the house - they can be great mood boosters.

2. Be kind to yourself

Personally I have chosen to do that by sticking to my personal training and kickboxing regime through the winter. Hoping it will help tackle those god awful bingo wings!

3 Plan your next trip 

Yes, you read correctly you have permission to start planning your next big trip. Infact I found myself looking at ski holidays to Austria on my journey back from Cyprus - perhaps a bit premature, I know.

The Importance of Teaching Assertiveness

It was when I went to the science museum, I realised how much of a pushover my little one could be. 

We started off playing in 'The Garden', a sensory play area for 3-6 year olds in the basement of London's science museum. She patiently waited for her turn to use a toy wheelbarrow for 10 odd minutes only to have a bigger kid snatch it off her within seconds - and when he did she just looked over at me to help. 

We then moved to the pattern pod an interactive gallery for kids. My little one was fascinated by the touch-screen pattern display and once again patiently waited in line for her turn. We waited and waited and waited. There were 3 machines available, however 3 young siblings had taken charge of these and were doing everything possible to not let her have a go. They were calling out to each other "don't let her on", "don't let her have a go". It was cruel and hurtful and I actually felt myself get really angry at these young children. My little one said to me "don't worry mummy I'll just watch". 

Of course, I could just dismiss the incident as bossy kids testing their powers in a play setting. However does it really end there? Will that teach her to always "just watch" from the sidelines and not grab opportunities as they arise because she dislikes the confrontation? 

I feel now it's just as important to teach assertiveness as it is to teach manners. Assertiveness for some is not innate, while it might come naturally to some I believe it is a skill that needs to be taught. In fact, I myself often find it difficult in the workplace to model the behaviour I want to teach my little one to deal with in the playground.

I have recently taken up kickboxing and looking into learning Krav Maga - no of course I'm not going to go practicing knee kicks on my colleagues at work but it's about building that inner self confidence. Knowing how to defend yourself while respecting others is vitally important. 

Hopefully one day she will be able to stand up tall, use her confident voice and say four simple words "No, it's my turn"!

Is the maxi micro scooter really worth the £100 price tag?

So we finally bit the bullet and invested in the Maxi Micro scooter. It took us a while to get there given the £100 price tag which always felt a bit much to me for a scooter; after all it's a tbar, a board and 3 very small wheels.

These micro scooters are everywhere! We go to the park and it's a rare to see preschoolers using their feet anymore. They whizz past one foot on board the other riding the road, "Wheeeeee look at meeeee". You hear stories of toddlers in the Alpine being put on ski slopes as soon as they can walk, it seems the scooter is Brtiain's equivalent. Unfortunately for us there are no snowy mountains for our children to learn balance and co-ordination - so the scooter must make do!

Our little one started off with a simple doc mcstuffin pink £19.99 scooter from Argos. It was a basic, does-the-job scooter. However, it quickly became obvious that it just didn't have the speed or manoeuvrability of other more expensive scooters on the market.

So as I am off for the next few weeks, I thought why not and promised the little one a new scooter. "A pink one?" she asked. Of course everything has to be pink!

Now the first decision I had to make was whether to go for a mini or maxi. The minis are much lighter and recommended for 3-5 year olds. The maxi is recommended for 5 years +. We finalised on the maxi as I have a tall 3.5 year old and really didn't want to invest in a 3rd scooter once she had outgrown this one.

I was very pleased at how easy the scooter was to assemble. Everything clicked into place within minutes. The initial confusion we had was how to steer it and after some faffing around we learnt about the lean and steer mechanism. You stand on the scooter with both hands and lean in the direction you want to go, which turns the wheels. It has a brake on the back and looks very sturdy. The handle bar is adjustable which is handy for me as when she gets tired I can increase the height and pull it along without hurting my back.

This scooter really is fantastic and glides along the path. I've had a cheeky go or two myself, even though the max weight is 50kg -oops. I look forward to now testing it on our holiday in Cyprus!

How I dealt with the guilt

My first pang of guilt was when I dropped my 14 month old baby to daycare for the first time. It broke my heart to see her streaming tears as I handed her over to the caregiver.

I am lucky enough to be friends with mummies from all walks of life. Sadly, the one common thing we all share is the guilt. The working mum feels guilty that she sends her kids to daycare. The stay at home mum feels guilty for not having the energy to play with Lego and dolls all day long. The mum with only one child feels the 'selfish guilt' of making her child lonely. The mum of 3 feels she can't give enough of her attention to all of her kids. And I won't even bother to start on the single mum guilt.

I have often heard from my little one "why can't you pick me up from school?, "Can you please come with me to butterfly world (school trip)?". I feel torn, but explain to her that mummy has to work and promise to have loads of fun with her on the weekend.

The single best piece of advice I once received from a close friend was that "mummy guilt" doesn't help anything. It is a waste of energy and emotion.

For me, I dealt with this guilt by firstly finding an amazing nanny, her name was Ella. If it wasn't for Ella I think I would have quit working a couple of years ago. She came into our lives and quickly became a member of our family and I will always be thankful to her for her dedication. And secondly, by moving her to a very good quality Montessori who took my little toddler and gave her the personal touch needed to turn her into a more confident little girl. Once I knew she was in good hands I could finally relax. Although, the guilt never fully goes away it subsided a little.

Even though it's hard to swallow sometimes, I do feel like my little girl gets it. And I am hoping that I'm setting a good example for her by showing her that women can have it all and really enjoy the work they do. I hope she too will be inspired to work hard to make her dreams a reality.

Little Londonite - Saturday 25th & Sunday 26th July 2015

As a working mum the weekend tends to be the only time to enjoy those precious family moments. Every Thursday, we will suggest the 5 most family-friendly activities and events to enjoy in London the coming weekend.

SATURDAY & SUNDAY - FREE

1. Design your Geodesic Dome at the Gherkin

Learn about architecture and design your own Geodesic Dome inspired by the roof of the Gherkin. Investigate the structural elements of the triangle. Booking required. 

Venue: Gherkin Viewing Platform, Level 40

Website: Archikids Festival

Perfect for Ages: 7+

SATUDAY & SUNDAY - FREE

2. Summer Holiday Fun with Harrods

Little visitors will get the chance to design a passport cover and summer hat, plus take home a goodie bag of treats. Registration to mini Harrods required.

Venue: Harrods, Third Floor

Website: Mini Harrods

Perfect for Ages: 5+

SATUDAY & SUNDAY - FREE

3. Meet the Time Travellers: Albert Einstein

Come and meet time-travelling genius Albert Einstein and his modern-day partner in time, Anna Bastable. Find out about the amazing scientific theories Einstein developed that changed the way we look at the Universe.  

Venue: Royal Observatory, Greenwich

Website: Royal Observatory

Perfect for Ages: 7+

SUNDAY - FREE

4. Create and Make: Electro-dough workshop

Get your little ones to build a 3D design of your favourite models using dough, LED lights and sounds.

Venue: Design Museum

Website: Design Museum

Perfect for Ages: 5+

ONGOING

5. Climbers and Creepers, Kew

Take the little ones along to this unique and interactive botanical play area. They can wriggle through the little tunnels pretending to be mice or slide down the giant pitcher plant. Let them become insects and learn all about pollination. Additionally located just outside Climbers and Creepers is Tree House Towers, which allows up to 300 kids to climb up ladders, clamber across rope bridges and slide their way down three towers.

Venue: Kew

Website: Kew Climbers & Creepers

Perfect for ages 3+

Entrance fee applies, see website for further details.

Mumpreneur : Francesca Brecciaroli

"As a working mum I must admit that life is not easy. Especially when you are a mum of 2 young boys with no family around that can support.

However, I am proud I still work because this gives me the sense of financial contribution to the family which makes me feel good.

I understand that there maybe a perception that being a stay at home mum means having a good time, drinking coffee and seeing friends. This is ridiculous, I personally could not do it- it would be too hard!

I have now gone back to work 3 days a week as a PA in an fund advisory company which gives me a good work/life balance. However, it is not my ideal job and I am trying to realise my dream of being a professional children photographer.

I have self studied photography for many years and am now specialising in children's portrait photography which I really enjoy. Currently, I work with babies and toddlers but I intend to specialise in newborn photography as well to capture those special moments in every parents life.

Feel free to visit  my website www.brecciaphotos.com and give me a call. "

The Diana Princess Memorial Playground

Hyped as the 'best adventure playground in London' - the Diana memorial playground was on our must-see list this summer.

This children's wonderland opened in June 2000 at a cost of £1.7million in memory of the late princess. Located next to her Kensington Palace home, the playground is a fitting tribute for a princess who loved the innocence of childhood. Inspired by J M Barrie's novel, Peter Pan

Little monkey and I finally got the opportunity yesterday to visit. Arriving at midday, we were lucky enough to walk straight in. A huge wooden pirate ship takes centre stage on its own beach - Wow.

Entered via a thick rope gangways and ladders, the ship has a rigging to climb, a crows nest to keep watch from, a hold to explore and a captain's cabin to steer the beauty. My little one was more than ready to set sail on her little adventure for distant shores in search for the " Treasure!". For fans of Peter Pan this ship is clearly Captain Hooks Jolly Roger.

Sand, rocks and water features surrounded the ship allowing for lots of imaginative water play. It reminded me of the magical shores of Peter Pans Neverland. Look closely enough and you may even spot a crocodile.

The landscaping is beautiful- The Diana Princess memorial playground is full of flowers and bushes with natural shapes and textures. There is literally a surprise around every corner - A telescope contains a colourful kaleidoscope, a half buried treasure chest, beautifully carved totem poles and a teepee encampment.

So to answer the question is this the best playground in London? Yes it most certainly is!.

Tips: Arrive early and take a change of clothes.

Summer Sanity

Well I finally took the plunge this week and resigned from one of the best contracts I have ever had. 

Why? Partly because the work was really drying up, and partly because I did not want my little one spending the entire summer holiday either with a nanny or in some sort of full-time childcare. 

So I now have 7 weeks of day trips, swimming, bike rides and ice cream. Of course I'll be lying if I didn't say that the thought of a messy house, overcrowded London museums and a hyperactive 3.5 year old doesn't scare me. I've always told my friends that being at work is far easier than staying at home - hats off to all the stay at home mums. 

I think the key to keeping my sanity will be to get some of that all important "me" time. So I have armed myself with booking adult tennis and kickboxing lessons.

Thankfully, I know that it's only 7 weeks and I have a new challenge (job) awaiting me after that. 

My plan for the summer holidays is as follows: hope for the best, prepare for the worst and if all else fails hide in a cupboard with a glass of red wine! 

Little Londonite - Saturday 18 & Sunday 19th July, 2015

As a working mum the weekend tends to be the only time to enjoy those precious family moments. Every Wednesday, we will suggest the 5 most family-friendly activities and events to enjoy in London the coming weekend.

SATURDAY

1. Family Fun Day in Harrow – FREE

Head along to Harrow Arts Centre for a fun day of free art, dance and music activities for the whole family! Everyone can be creative, develop new skills and enjoy the challenge of doing something entirely different. Activities include: Creative workshops; Music; Theatre; Arts, Crafts and Food Stalls. Note: Some activities need registration.

Venue: Harrow Arts Centre

Website: www.harrowarts.com/family

Perfect For: All Ages
 

UNTIL 31st AUGUST
2. Tiddler in Leicester Square

 There can be few children’s bookshelves that don’t feature a story or two from Julia Donaldson and Axle Scheffler. This summer, Scamp Theatre has transferred some of their most-adored stories to the stage, retelling Tiddler, Monkey Puzzle, The Smartest Giant in Town and A Squash and a Squeeze woven together with live music, puppetry and a whole host of colourful characters. Is Tiddler telling the truth? Only one way to find out…

Venue: Leicester Square Theatre, Leicester Place, London WC2

 Perfect For: Ages 3+

 Website: http://www.scamptheatre.com/production/tiddle

SUNDAY
3. Chinatown Family Day - FREE

Chinatown's already colourful and enticing streets will be filled with activities and entertainment for children of all ages. The stages, one on Gerrard Street and one on Wardour Street, will host an exciting programme of performances from 12-5pm, including traditional Japanese drumming, family magic shows, martial arts performances and an Indonesian orchestra. Kids will also have the chance to take part in a treasure hunt as well as calligraphy, mask making and origami lessons! There will also be a world famous Lion Dance display as well as traditional stilt walkers, pot jugglers and goodie bags.

 Venue: China Town

 Website: http://www.chinatownlondon.org/page/family-day-returns-to-chinatown/521

 Perfect For: All Ages

 SATURDAY
4. Festival Of Archaeology: Secret of Roman Londoners - FREE

 Investigate what archaeology can reveal about life in Roman London, from what people ate to where they came from and how they died by studying Roman Skeletons. Kids will be given the opportunity o create a magic mosaic and craft out precious items for the mysterious underworld.

Venue: Museum Of London

Website: http://www.museumoflondon.org.uk/london-wall/whats-on/family-events/foa/

 Perfect For: Ages 5+


SUNDAY
5. Creative Connections at The National Portrait Gallery  FREE

Inspired by the Creative Connections display, turn yourself into a life-size sculpture and work with project artist Kate Peters on a photographic portrait of your sculpture.

Venue: The National Portrait Gallery

Website: http://www.npg.org.uk/whatson/event-root/july-2015/drop-in-family-session-creative-connections-19072015-1300.php

Perfect For: Ages 3+

My Mummy: Unfortunately going back to work didn't work for me

"Unfortunately going back to work didn't really work for me. I went back part time which meant 5 days a week 8am to 3.30pm. The problem I faced was that I was expected to do a full time job in part time hours cuz my workload wasn't any different to before I was on maternity leave. So I was constantly under tremendous pressure to keep the traders happy 

(which was rare) and all I could think was that I need to leave to pick my son up. My husband works 14 hours a day so my sons complete responsibility was on me! 

Not sure if this is the answer you were looking for! But yeh I struggled given I have no family here whatsoever and my husband could not get to the nursery on time and he travels so much that if my son was unwell it would be me who would have to take the day off. And well hedge funds are not exactly mum friendly so home access is a huge no no! So yeh I was unable to find the balance I'm afraid. 

Hedge Fund

My Mummy: I am definitely for being a supermum and having it all

"I thought juggling life and work was hard before I was a mum but now I realise how easy I had it and wish I'd been more spontaneous and adventurous then! Now I have 2 beautiful babies and have found a whole new level of organisational skills! 

I work at an investment bank in the city and I can honestly say I love my job. After each child I couldn't wait to get back to work - not because I don't enjoy time with them because I most definitely do (more so now!), but because it gives me a piece of me back. Where I am known for my skills and abilities in an entirely adult world. 

This would not have been possible were it not for the company being so flexible and my manager being so accommodating.  Unfortunately there aren't many places with this winning combination out there but it does seem like attitudes to parenthood in the workplace are slowly improving! Luckily both kids love nursery and they make me proud everyday!

I am definitely for being a supermum and having it all!"

Investment Banking 

My Mummy: I love my job, and am very passionate about it but having to leave my little angel in tears is so heartbreaking

"My job is too busy. If something isn't complete at work I am holding up the entire process like packaging of product, formulating and releasing products.

They are giving me so much flexibility but sometimes its not enough. I love my job, and am very passionate about it but having to leave my little angel in tears is so heartbreaking. Being a full time working mum I am always rushing - to get to work on time, to get home in time so I can feed, bath and play with my baby girl, then to cook/clean etc.."

Pharmaceuticals

My Mummy: I miss being with my children but part of me loves working

"I miss being with my children, but part of me loves working. Everyday when I leave them I feel I want to quit working for someone else, but then remember I am working for them. Love them. "

Legal profession

The white cliffs of Eastbourne

Last weekend we ventured down to visit Eastbourne. Both my husband and I had fallen in love with Beachy Head since our last trip.

The bright white chalk cliffs were absolutely breath-taking. The weather was mild and warm; we drove up to Beachy Head in the early evening. I could have happily have stayed there the whole day listening to the waves hit the pebbles on the beach, and gazing out to the white cliffs stretching out to the horizon. Beautiful views of greenery, rolling hills and the sea.

My 3 year old loves to explore, however I wasn’t quite willing to let her satisfy her curiosity of looking over the cliff edge. She did however enjoy racing me up to the lighthouse and running around on the hills. Just then I asked myself, "Is this what paradise looks like?"

We finished the weekend with a 2 hour visit to Eastbourne Miniature Steam Railway Adventure Park and what a delight that was. Arriving at 10am on Sunday morning we were the first to queue. I was wondering if we would be the only ones at the park but very quickly the place filled up with young families.

My little one immediately ran to the adventure playground especially enjoying the obstacle course and various play frames on offer. The one eighth scale locomotives were a real joy to see, chugging around the entire country park. The highlight of the visit was the train ride, “All Aboard” my little on squealed and off we went around the lake CHOO CHOO!

The Secret Lives of four-year-olds

I recently watched channel 4’s documentary The Secret Life of Four-Year-Olds. The documentary follows ten four-year-olds as they meet at nursery, exploring how children make and break friendships, share, stand up for themselves and find their place in a new social group.

The hour-long documentary is set in a classroom rigged with cameras and was an absolute joy to watch. It was fascinating to see these little pre-schoolers socially interact with each other and at an unconscious level the basic politics at play within a playground. The verbal insults were most amusing, “You’re just a tiny mouse with a purple toilet,” said a little boy to the girl who wouldn’t let him have a go on the scooter. “I’m going to tell my cat to scratch your face,” replied the little girl. 

Watching the documentary made me think of my time at work. Was the workplace really any different to what is witnessed in a classroom? Sure, I agree that office politics takes place in a more discrete way; nonetheless the behaviours are very much the same. I think of colleagues trampling on each other for a slightly bigger bonus, bosses underhandedly promoting the favourites, the perils of making the right alliances. 

I especially enjoyed the ‘chocolate cake test’, where a very large sliced chocolate cake was left in the middle of the classroom and no instructions were given. Would the little ones give into temptation? And the ones that did were punished retrospectively – that’s not fair. Life at work really isn’t that different from life in the playground, especially when there is chocolate cake involved!

The Mornings

The Mornings

Its 3am and I am awoken by the sound of crying. “I’ve lost my purple alien”, my 3 year old little girl cries in her sleep. I go to her room, pick her up and plonk her in the middle of our bed and go back to sleep.

At 6am I hear my iphone alarm ringing. Oh no, it can't be morning already. The morning continues with me going down and preparing a snack bag and a lunch bag for little ones day at Montessori. What shall I put in her lunch bag today? Surely not boiled egg again, some fruit perhaps. Wait, what am I doing??! There is no time to think...rush rush rush. Just enough time for a quick shower and ready to leave the house by 7am.

Get to the tube station and the noticeboard reads 'severe delays'. Great just my luck, signalling problems once again on the Metropolitan Line! My working day starts at 8am and every morning is a fight to reach the office on time.

I reach the office, its 8.33am. All my colleagues are already seated comfortably at their desks. I hurry over to my desk hoping nobody notices me. Later I grab a coffee and get started on my emails.

As I start pricing a little thought enters my head, 'purple alien', I smile to myself and look forward to getting back home.