The Importance of Teaching Assertiveness

It was when I went to the science museum, I realised how much of a pushover my little one could be. 

We started off playing in 'The Garden', a sensory play area for 3-6 year olds in the basement of London's science museum. She patiently waited for her turn to use a toy wheelbarrow for 10 odd minutes only to have a bigger kid snatch it off her within seconds - and when he did she just looked over at me to help. 

We then moved to the pattern pod an interactive gallery for kids. My little one was fascinated by the touch-screen pattern display and once again patiently waited in line for her turn. We waited and waited and waited. There were 3 machines available, however 3 young siblings had taken charge of these and were doing everything possible to not let her have a go. They were calling out to each other "don't let her on", "don't let her have a go". It was cruel and hurtful and I actually felt myself get really angry at these young children. My little one said to me "don't worry mummy I'll just watch". 

Of course, I could just dismiss the incident as bossy kids testing their powers in a play setting. However does it really end there? Will that teach her to always "just watch" from the sidelines and not grab opportunities as they arise because she dislikes the confrontation? 

I feel now it's just as important to teach assertiveness as it is to teach manners. Assertiveness for some is not innate, while it might come naturally to some I believe it is a skill that needs to be taught. In fact, I myself often find it difficult in the workplace to model the behaviour I want to teach my little one to deal with in the playground.

I have recently taken up kickboxing and looking into learning Krav Maga - no of course I'm not going to go practicing knee kicks on my colleagues at work but it's about building that inner self confidence. Knowing how to defend yourself while respecting others is vitally important. 

Hopefully one day she will be able to stand up tall, use her confident voice and say four simple words "No, it's my turn"!