How I dealt with the guilt

My first pang of guilt was when I dropped my 14 month old baby to daycare for the first time. It broke my heart to see her streaming tears as I handed her over to the caregiver.

I am lucky enough to be friends with mummies from all walks of life. Sadly, the one common thing we all share is the guilt. The working mum feels guilty that she sends her kids to daycare. The stay at home mum feels guilty for not having the energy to play with Lego and dolls all day long. The mum with only one child feels the 'selfish guilt' of making her child lonely. The mum of 3 feels she can't give enough of her attention to all of her kids. And I won't even bother to start on the single mum guilt.

I have often heard from my little one "why can't you pick me up from school?, "Can you please come with me to butterfly world (school trip)?". I feel torn, but explain to her that mummy has to work and promise to have loads of fun with her on the weekend.

The single best piece of advice I once received from a close friend was that "mummy guilt" doesn't help anything. It is a waste of energy and emotion.

For me, I dealt with this guilt by firstly finding an amazing nanny, her name was Ella. If it wasn't for Ella I think I would have quit working a couple of years ago. She came into our lives and quickly became a member of our family and I will always be thankful to her for her dedication. And secondly, by moving her to a very good quality Montessori who took my little toddler and gave her the personal touch needed to turn her into a more confident little girl. Once I knew she was in good hands I could finally relax. Although, the guilt never fully goes away it subsided a little.

Even though it's hard to swallow sometimes, I do feel like my little girl gets it. And I am hoping that I'm setting a good example for her by showing her that women can have it all and really enjoy the work they do. I hope she too will be inspired to work hard to make her dreams a reality.